10 Reasons To Feel Hopeful If You Are Asking “Will I Ever Find Love Again”?
Audrey Hepburn once said; “Nothing is impossible. The word itself says I’m Possible” Yet, if you are healing from heartbreak and asking yourself will I ever find love again, it’s easy to feel like the opposite is true.
It’s tough putting yourself out there, meeting new people and doing online dating which can get really old, really quick. It’s easy to feel discouraged and hopeless about ever meeting someone new that you can fall in love with. But people do and so can you.
You just need to be a little open to redefining what it means to find love again, whether you are hoping to find love again after a divorce or any kind of break up. Then you need to know how to go about it, when you find yourself perseverating over that question.
Before getting to all the reasons there are to feel hopeful about finding love again, let’s start by acknowledging an important and painful reality. There’s probably a strong part of you that actually doesn’t feel hopeful about it at all.
And that is totally normal.
So let’s first explore the reasons why it feels like you may never find love again. This will help you get to the heart of the matter. - a necessary step which will help unleash the hope.
Understanding and unburdening your pain over the loss of your ex, along with some false beliefs you may have about yourself is key here. Then the rekindling of hope will happen organically, in it’s own time and own way.
With that said, here are five common reasons people feel hopeless when they ask themselves the question; “will I ever Find Love Again”?
They can’t get over their ex and believe that they never will. Trying to get over your ex is just plain old hard, especially if you didn’t want things to end. It’s especially difficult if you felt like your ex was your soulmate. To make matters worse, when the common anecdote “time heals all wounds” doesn’t seem to be working, it’s easy to begin to feel hopeless.
No one will ever be like their ex. Remember that Sinead O’Connor song “Nothing Compares 2 U”- yes, it’s true. And nothing will ever compare to your ex. The part of you that keeps comparing is a clue that you still haven’t fully grieved your loss.
All their past relationships end in disaster. Many people do have repetitive relational patterns. They find themselves attracting the same “not so good for them” partner. This is often tied into some early childhood attachment wounding that usually requires psychotherapy to heal.
They were deeply betrayed and don’t think they can ever trust again. Betrayal trauma such as infidelity or being left for someone else can cause deep scars.
They don’t think finding love again is written in the stars for them. No one, other than a good astrologer really knows what’s written in the stars. Everyone has their karmic lessons, but they are seldom life sentences.
Now that the unspoken doom and gloom about ever finding love again has been named and validated, it’s time to counter those reasons with some practical hope. With that said, here are ten solid reasons to feel hopeful if you are asking: will I ever find love again?
You can get over your ex, you just need to know how. It takes more than just time to get over the past. There actually are strategies that you can practice to help you be proactive in your healing. One of which is getting into your body by engaging in mind / body practices such as yoga or Qi Gong. The saying “your issues are in your tissues” applies here. Learn how to twist out your built up tension and release your stress with your breath by applying these simple practices. They will help you feel lighter and more positive all the way around.
While it’s true that no one will ever compare to what you loved about your ex, you can love someone in an entirely new and different way. Take some time to write down what you love and miss as well as what didn’t really work for you. Then take what you didn’t like and turn that into what you now need. E.G. if your ex was naive or easily influenced by others, perhaps this time you need someone more savvy and has a strong sense of self. Or if your ex was dishonest, then integrity will be something that is a must have next time.
You can change your repetitive relational patterns to improve your relational skill set. This is something that generally needs to be done in therapy, but it’s worth the investment. Healing your attachment style will help you to feel more confident about finding love again, and attracting a relationship that won’t be filled with drama. Therapy can help with this.
When you heal your attachment style and learn to trust yourself, in time, you will learn how to trust others
Regardless of what you may believe is written in the stars, love is all around because...
Love is energy and energy can’t be created or destroyed. It can only be experienced.
You can tap into the stream of energy any time by: engaging in mind body practices and meditation and...
By exploring new hobbies and passions that will connect you to new people will help put yourself in situations that will help you find love again.
Also, break ups are more and more common these days, so the dating pool is larger than ever now.
And last but not least, the one you are looking for you is looking for you. It’s all the more reason to focus on you and the things that make you happy. This way you will attract this person when the time is right.
So, how do you find the one that’s looking for you?
It starts with accepting a core principle that nobody ever wants to hear at first. And that is, that you are the one you have been looking for. Meaning, when you show up for you, and do you and be you, and you will have found the #1 reason to be hopeful about finding love again.
The basic principles of attraction start with you. When you consistently practice self love each and every day, then you will be doing the necessary work you need to do to help yourself open your heart to another. You just have to be willing to truly embody that you are loved and lovable, and that starts with self love.
And when you embody self love, you will just naturally magnetize people towards you. You will call in someone new, if you let the void of your loss create that vacuum!
No one ever really knows when they will find their next great love. But when they make having a loving and nurturing relationship with themselves a top priority, they will speed up their heartbreak recovery time.
And the sooner you are ready and open to loving another, the less time you will be wondering if you will ever find love again because you found it with yourself.
Now that is real hope!
Here’s what makes this discovery an even sweeter enticement for you to do the inner work required to find self love. The sooner you learn how to really love yourself- including all the messy complicated parts that make up you, the sooner love from another will find you again.
Maura Matarese, M.A., LMHC, R.Y.T. is a psychotherapist, author and yoga teacher, practicing in Sudbury, MA. If you find yourself asking “will I ever find love again”, check out her book: Finding Hope In The Crisis: A Therapist’s Perspective On Love, Loss, And Courage or her new online course: Finding Hope After Heartbreak: Learn the Secret How To Get Over Your Ex And Start Feeling Better Now.
