The unthinkable has just happened: your spouse has announced they're contemplating divorce. With your whole world turned upside down, what are you supposed to do now?

As a licensed therapist what I can tell you is that the end of your story has not yet been written. There is still hope. I'm not promising it will be easy, but if you're committed to figuring this out, you can.

So let's begin. There’s an old saying: It takes two to tango.

What’s missing from this old saying is that it also takes two to repair.

How to leave someone you love when you know it’s the right thing to do is never easy.

Even when all the signs to leave a relationship are loud and clear, leaving someone you love is well…painful. Perhaps that’s why many write and even sign about this unpleasant choice, because they know that “breaking up is hard to do”.

How to get through a breakup is probably the last piece of advice you ever wanted to search for.

The news probably still stings. The one you love and dreamed of a future with has now told you they have other plans that don’t include you. It’s probably still fresh and raw, and certainly painful.

Perhaps you feel stunned, confused, betrayed, and devastated?In part this is because now you have to learn how to get through a breakup with someone you still love. 

Or perhaps you are angry at yourself because you have to learn how to get through a breakup that you may have caused? The relationship you once had is now impossible to fix. 

Most people are familiar with the adage “ you first need to learn how to love yourself, before you can love another”. Knowing this and practicing self love however, are two very different things.

It’s worth stating, that intellectually, almost everyone, kind of sort of understands the heart of this adage. But the idea of self love for most, seems to live and die in the cerebral realm.

With that said, it begs the questions then, do people really know, in a felt sense, what it means to love themselves? What does practicing self love actually entail and most importantly, why is it in one’s best interest to practice self love each and every day?

Audrey Hepburn once said; “Nothing is impossible. The word itself says I’m Possible” Yet, if you are healing from heartbreak and asking yourself will I ever find love again, it’s easy to feel like the opposite is true.

It’s tough putting yourself out there, meeting new people and doing online dating which can get really old, really quick. It’s easy to feel discouraged and hopeless about ever meeting someone new that you can fall in love with. But people do and so can you.

You just need to be a little open to redefining what it means to find love again, whether you are hoping to find love again after a divorce or any kind of break up. Then you need to know how to go about it, when you find yourself perseverating over that question.